Blink

McKenna, 15

ramirezbundydahmer:

Famous Last Words:


Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
 Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

ramirezbundydahmer:

Famous Last Words:

  • Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
  • I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
  • I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
  • I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
  • I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
  • Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
  • I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
  • Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
  •  Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
  • Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
  • It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
  • LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
  • You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
  • No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
  • I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
  • Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
  • Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
  • Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
  • Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
  • Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

What if
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter

What if
women were the ones who started wars

What if
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly

What if
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun

What if
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs

What if
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis

What if
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands

What if
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes

What if
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons

What if
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
with socks
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
or
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
or
“The truth about impotence”

What if
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”

What if
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job

What if
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running

And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.

For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl. 

She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.

(via perculiar)